This community is intended to provide a strong, reliable, solid, consistent, caring, interactive, tangible and practical network of support for men who need encouragement and guidance in becoming better men of integrity; which values the need for connectivity, love, goal setting, accountability and follow up.

This veteran-led group will meet online every Wed at 8pm PST via Zoom to start the week with discussing and setting personal goals for the week with interactive and practical inspiration and group council. In-person socials and other activities will be planned with group input.

Zoom Link  https://zoom.us/j/92023263974

We will address the specific areas that steered us off course on our path in becoming better men in the first place and take practical action as a brotherhood on our individual and collective growth in to whole men of integrity. 

We do this for ourselves, our loved ones, and especially all women waiting for men of integrity.

Bio

Greetings brothers,

My name is Kiko. I grew up surviving the tough streets of California, where I’ve seen my fair share of violence and murder, drug abuse, gangs, abuse, etc; with little to no positive male role models to guide me in becoming a better man. After high school, I decided to join the Army to escape these harsh realities with hopes to be shown a better way of living. I was excited about the possibility of a good military man taking me under his wing and showing me all there was to know about being a better man. I served from 1997-2003. I spent my first 3 years as a combat medic attached to a light infantry battalion, then spent my last 3 years in JAG as a military paralegal. However, instead of learning how to become a better man, these experiences (both military and civilian) only exacerbated the notion that being tough, suppressing my feelings, and not loving myself was absolutely A-okay…in fact it was encouraged.

After the military, I went on to go to college and earn my associates, bachelors and masters degrees in education, and used my entire educational journey to try to learn how to become a better man. However, I hadn’t learned a thing…I was still under the impression that a tough man is better than a weak one (Nice Guys Finish Last as they say). This type of thinking only brought destruction to my life.

What I have learned is that many men have spent generations masterfully “breaking each other down”, but seldom exercised a regular, consistent practice of “building each other up.” We rarely support each other, and our attempts at supporting each other are feeble, meaningless, and lack substance and structure.

Men have been told, generation after generation, to “suck it up”, “stop crying” and “be a man”. However, when we as men carry out this so-called charge of “being a man”, we are often met with a plethora of resistance, opposition, reluctance and even fear because we are perceived as being “insensitive”, “dangerous”, “mean”, “bullies”…the names and labels go on, and on. There is a huge population of confused, hurting and even broken men, simply asking the same question, “What can I do to become a better man?”

I believe the answer is this, “Iron sharpens iron”…we need to take charge, be bold, and regularly support each other, as other groups do. We need to actively practice loving ourselves and each other as men. I have discovered through my own obstacles, trials and challenges in seeking my own help is that there is little to no help available. We are desperately seeking the same immediate and readily available abundance of resources, information, guidance and support to help us heal from our wounds and become “better” men; but can’t find any.

This is where we can make all the difference. The time is long-overdue for us to collectively support, help, love and encourage one another, as men, without fear, angst, or worry about being harshly judged or criticized in simply just trying to be “better”. As men, we KNOW we can be “tough” when we need to…but it is our responsibility, it is our purpose, it is our God-given birthright to unconfuse our past messages and redefine what it takes to become “better men”.