So there I was.
On the other side of the country. In a vast, open semi-desert land. Away from my kids on spring break. With a group of complete strangers and a nearly dead cell phone. On a solo fast for four days and nights. Squatting to take a shit above an empty pit carved into a pile of rocks.
When I finished, I reached forward, grabbed some rocks in front of me, then turned around and dropped the rocks into the pit to cover up the shit in the hole behind me.
As I attempted to climb away from my make-shift port-a-potty, I stepped on the exact place where I had borrowed the rocks from. The ground collapsed beneath my step and I lost my footing. The path in front of me had become unstable, causing me to lose my balance as I almost tumbled down the ridge. Heart racing, I closed my eyes and held my chest.
That’s when I heard the voice.
“YOU CAN’T BORROW FROM TOMORROW TO COVER UP YESTERDAY’S SHIT”.
Now I’m the hard-headed type who has to be slapped in the face with truth before I’ll accept it. And on that day of April 25th, 2019, that truth hit me so hard I almost fell on my ass. Literally.
I’d probably read a similar quote in a fortune cookie or my Bible many times before. However, when the voice sends us a message, sometimes we’re just not ready to receive it. I heard that message before, but I wasn’t actually listening.
Almost like seeing a blurry image in your peripheral vision all your life. Then one day you actually look straight at it and the image comes into focus. And it’s a bright red sign with flashing lights, inscribed with truth you already had inside you.
Recognizing this particular truth had deep implications on my perspective in life and has improved my relationships with those around me. Particularly my mother, with whom I’ve allowed emotions from the past deprive us from having a present and future.
For me, the Rite of Return provided the space and the place to experience what I consider the single most important skill of my life: the ability to listen, recognize, and apply the inner voice.
For that, I’m forever grateful. ~~~~~
“Tara is a follower of Christ. She lives around Fort Bragg, NC with her husband and their 3 children. She is a 7 year veteran and currently a 5th grade teacher. She is also a member of the national organization Veterans For Peace.”
