Danny (Wave Rider) Medoff was born and raised in Columbia, Maryland. He served as an Army medic from 2005-2013 and deployed to the hospital Green Zone in Baghdad in 2006-2007 with the 28th CSH, to Afghanistan with the 1-17 Infantry Batallion and the 2ID in 2012. He earned a Bachelor’s in philosophy from the University of Colorado and graduated from the Alexandar School of Natural Therapeutics in February of 2020. He is currently employed as a licensed massage therapist, and is passionate about ensuring that all veterans have access to as many healing modalities as possible. He is a core presence in the Veteran Rites Circle of Return and is claimed his Rite of Passage as an adult man in August 2020.
To shit or not to shit. I gotta shit. Well, I’m out here now, no schedule to meet, no one to please, just me and my surroundings for the next few days. I ain’t ever had such time and space to shit. I’m gonna lift this here rock up and leave my offering there. Look at that: the land holds it! The land holds my shit and ain’t asking for anything or offering its thoughts on the matter. A man could get used to a thing like this.
That was me the first moments after dropping my water and sleeping bag at my camp - my home for the next 4 days. No food, no other people, no electronics, no running water, no fixed shelter. Free from such things so that I couldn’t help but to confront my shit. I’d been holding onto shit, well, my entire life. To the point where I’d sometimes say, fuck it, if this is what ends me, I’d rather end than feel this pain anymore. But, I’m tired of running from or hiding from or numbing the pain. And I’m tired of waiting for shit to happen.
96 hours of free time to deal with my shit. Here was my shit: I’m a shitty brother, else Josh would still be alive and Noah would be living the life he wants to live. I was a shitty medic in the army, else I wouldn’t have fucked up like I did, he’d still have both legs. I wouldn’t have scarred those I scarred because I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing, and maybe he could have survived. I’m a shitty son cuz I’m not living up to mom and dad’s hopes and expectations. I’m a shitty friend cuz I disappear at times or I no-show to events without saying anything or I can’t hang out as often as I should. I’m a shitty partner else I’d be able to provide more for her. I’m a shitty man cuz I’ve used and objectified women. I’m a shitty human cuz I’ve used other’s for my own ends and I’ve ignored or shouted down other’s cries for just wanting to be seen or heard or held. I’m a shitty being on this planet cuz I’ve littered and wasted and destroyed enough of it. I’m just shitty, or so I think.
So I danced, cried, yelled, laughed, sang, screamed, and smashed that shit out of me. And you know something, the world around me didn’t recoil in horror, or laugh in derision, or try to cure or fix or heal me, or try to sell me something, or ignore me. The land held; the dragonflies buzzed around from sagebrush to sagebrush; the grasshoppers hopped from blade to blade; the trees stood tall. All saying, in their own way, “you shit, we live; you shit, we die.”
And after 96 hours by myself letting go of shit, I returned to people (peers and elders) who held and heard and saw me as I now saw myself - a perfectly imperfect adult man. An adult man with a philosophical mind, a compassionate spirit, a full range of emotions, and a resilient physical body that can bend or hold firm no matter the conditions of my environment. An adult man who can love and be loved by a goddess.
So, here we are now. I’m grateful and lucky to be in a loving committed relationship with a beautiful, wise, and compassionate woman. I’m back in community; back as an adult man, ready and determined to serve my community. I am serving my community by continuing to show up, lend a hand, and hold space in the Seattle veteran community. And coming soon, I will be offering my services to veterans and their families through my business, Ride the Wave Massage LLC.
Thank you for being you, and remember: you can always come back to your breath and heal yourself. You can heal the world.
Love,
Danny
Epilogue
What Danny humbly refrained from saying in this telling of his Rite of Return story was that during his four days in solo and ‘dealing with his shit’, he held in protection a sacred walking stick that carries the signatures of the warriors from the first ‘Veterans Vision Fast’ pilot in 2017 as a true claiming of whole adulthood.
When he walked back down from the mountain he not only brought back the artifact safely, but also carried with him a bag full of thoughtfully chosen gifts from the land for all fellow veterans, guides, and assistants.
Danny at the August 2020 Rite of Return holding the lineage of Veteran Rites and the symbol his claiming.
Erle Hunter, Navy Veteran, and his walking stick from the 2017 ceremony on the land.
His thoughtfulness and blessing to us all in his time of trial is a reminder of what Veteran Rites is all about, that despite the weight our warriors carry we are never broken. We are whole and resilient, full of wisdom, talents, and generosity that the world needs for itself to be whole. That the gifts we hold for ourselves and others are often laying deep in the ‘shit’ and shadows of our souls.
Danny’s story, and the Veteran healing journeys from the land of the past and future are only possible through the communal effort of a whole community touching the gift basket in whatever way they can to welcome our warriors back with Love and Honor. Whether through donation of any size, lending talents, equipment, preparing food, or sending prayers, we all have our hands on the heavy backs of our Veterans and their loved ones. By supporting a Rite of Return, we are all co-creators in the completion of the warrior’s rite of passage to truth, identity, and belonging after military service, and beneficiaries of their story that heals all of us.
This “GivingTuesday”, we humbly ask anyone touched by Danny’s story and the stories of all courageous Veterans to put what they can in the gift basket so we can grow our ceremonies in 2021 and beyond. We are in this together, and we deeply appreciate your offering and blessing that will be carried out to the land of Eastern Washington and compassionately placed in the grateful hands of the next warrior.
Love and Honor,
Ryan Mielcarek, Seabee Veteran (OIF), Executive Director, Veteran Rites
